Let's be real. Things start getting a bit too loose towards the end of the year. Some of us forget the manners we kept up with all year and start doing some out of pocket sh. So to save you the humiliation and the apology tour you have to go on afterwards, here is a list of rules to live by during the holiday season.
1.RSVP
RSVP the host on time. Don't make them chase after you. It gets busy at Christmas time and people have kids to deal with, work functions and a whole lot more. We get that it's difficult to pick and decline invites. But get the RSVP in on time. Also if you're sending invites, make sure the people you want there, know well in advance that you're having an event. Don't send things out at the last minute and expect people to drop their original plans for you.
2.Shoes on/off
Sometimes the host won't tell you to take off your shoes but they make that weird eye wide opening gesture as you enter the doorway. If it's raining or muddy outside, chances are you need to take the shoes off. But follow the hosts instructions and offer to take your clean shoes off or ask what the house rules are. Your host will be grateful. If the host is fine with shoes on but your shoes are dirty, take them OFFFFF!!!! Gawdd!
3.Be Inclusive:
If you hang out with a clique, try to break the cycle and socialise with others. It does not hurt to get out of your comfort zone and speak to somebody different. This adds to a good social atmosphere. If you see someone by themselves, invite them into your conversation. Don't leave them to wander the corners of the room.
4.Limiting Alcohol Consumption:
Just because it's free and flowing does not mean you have to ride the tsunami of alcohol consumption. Alcohol adds to the looseness and lightens any tensions. But if you can't handle your booze, then it can bring some unwanted behaviour. Try your hardest to stick to a safe number of cocktails. These days people like to claim they're not judging but THEY ARE judging. We know it's the end of the year but we're gonna judge. If you don't usually drink, do not feel pressured to drink. Bring your own mocktails or substitute. Hosts make sure you provide non alcoholic options.
5.Gift Etiquette:
Getting invited to someones home for a catered event? Take a small gift for the host. It does not need to be expensive, it just needs to be thoughtful. It can be as small as a thank you card, an inexpensive small arrangement of flowers, a bottle of wine, some chocolates, a small Christmas pudding from the store.
6.Buffet Etiquette:
When approaching a buffet, be mindful of others. Take a single plate, wait your turn, and serve yourself modest portions. Avoid overcrowding the buffet table. Also don't load your plate and do not eat in line. It's so cringe when people do this. You can't be shovelling food into your mouth and onto your plate at the same time.
7.Respecting Pets
If visiting homes with pets, ask before feeding them. Don't feed the parrots random food from your plate. Don't give the dog pigs in a blanket. Don't worry about the cats, cats don't trust us and will not take food from strangers. The cats are there to judge your poor behaviour at the function.
8.Feeding Kids:
If you're bringing kids to the gathering, ensure they have a snack before so they're not hungry and irritable if the host is serving dinner late. Throw a snack into your bag for them just in case the host is realllly running late. Kids gotta eat.
9.Other peoples Kids
If there are kids around, don't try to be the cool aunt/uncle and let them have anything they want without their parents permission. (I have been guilty of this in the past). Parents have rules and some kids have diet restrictions or allergies. Always check with their parents first.
10.Respect Dietary Restrictions:
Be aware of dietary restrictions or preferences. If hosting, inquire in advance about any special dietary needs your guests may have. That way, it's not awkward at the buffet table.
11.Significant Others:
If bringing a plus one to a party, make introductions and include them in conversations. Don't be off with your boys or your girls and leave that fool to fend for themselves. Be mindful of their comfort in a new social setting. If they're good on their own, then let them live it up and work the room. If not, be supportive. New environments can be very intimidating and they are after all there because you asked them.
12.Significant Others of Others
Do not go and flirt with random people you do not know and make a fool of yourself. That person you're flirting with or trying to chat up is the bosses wife. You have been warned. Also don't flirt with unknown people at family functions. Thats your third cousin.
13.Thoughtful Conversations:
Keep conversations light and inclusive. Avoid sensitive topics such as politics or personal issues that might dampen the festive mood. When hosting, don't talk sh about people who declined your invite to the party. It's tacky to talk about people you invited just because they couldn't make it. Avoid your cry baby, boo hoo story and instead, enjoy the evening with the people who actually showed up.
14.Mindful of Personal Space:
Respect personal space and be mindful of physical boundaries, especially in crowded gatherings. Give others room to enjoy the festivities comfortably. Not everyone is open to hugs. Don't force your kids to hug adults if they don't want to. Make sure you know where your kids are. They are your responsibility and there could be strangers. Be mindful.
15.If you're giving a speech
If you're giving a speech or given the opportunity to toast, make sure you plan something appropriate. There's nothing worse than a long winded speech/toast. Oh wait, yes there is. There's the inappropriate toasts that make it so cringe and awkward. Don't be that person.
16.Social Media Consideration:
Ask for permission before posting photos of others on social media. Not everyone may be comfortable having their images shared online.
17.Phone Etiquette
Don't be on the phone the whole time. Be mindful of sitting in the corner on your phone. Yes parties can be boring and sometimes we show up because we feel obligated to but if you chose to be there, then you have to make some sort of effort.
18.If you break or spill something
If you break something or spill red wine on a cushion, let the host know immediately. Don't bury it under another cushion. It's more irritating to find things buried under other objects as a cover up. The host will quickly spray some stain remover on it or say "nah don't worry about it, it's just a cushion". It just boils down to respect for other peoples stuff.
19.Offering Assistance with Cleanup:
Do not sit around and let everyone else clean. Don't just leave it for the host. Offer to help and if the host insists to not help, then you can park it. Regardless of culture, sometimes it's the same people that leave the clean up for everyone else. Yo! You better help. It's 2024. Don't grab all your belongings and a plate of food to go and that's your contribution. If the host has people coming to help with cleaning, fine. But if not, pitch in and help them put things away or if you're staying over then help the next day with getting the place back in order.